Physical intimacy is a huge part of any couple’s relationship. When couples are in sync and feeling connected, sex and physical intimacy can feel connecting and fun. When out of sync, sex can become one of the main issues couples seek therapy for.
Our sexual relationships can become out of balance for many reasons. Life transitions, age, trauma, and busy schedules are a few reasons that things may become out of whack.
Let’s look at Becky and Bill. They have three kids, two in school, and a baby. Bill works full time and travels. Becky is their home’s CEO, in charge or appointments, after school activities, food…and so on. After a full day or being nit picked at work Bill wants to come home and feel calm and relaxed. After a full day of driving everyone around, making meals the kids don’t eat, and carrying a fussy baby around, Becky wants help and to be seen.
The kids finally go to bed. Becky wants Bill to just sit close and watch a show, she’s feeling icky and over touched. Bill is hoping that now they can finally get some more alone time in bed because he’s craving closeness, and it’s been a few weeks since they last had sex.
Bill initiates… Becky sighs…Bill feels rejected and unappreciated…Becky feels misunderstood and overwhelmed. They don’t say any of this out loud and just end up going to bed feeling disconnected, sad and angry.
This plays out in many different ways for couples. The more they miss each other, the more difficult it becomes to get back to responding in the ways each person needs.
Individual or couples therapy can be very helpful:
To get your sex life back to a new normal.
To baby step back to finding passion and fun.
To heal from trauma.
To gain a sexual version of yourself you may have never had.