Let’s Talk About Sex

The Intimate Connection: Why Sex is Vital for Couples

Sexual intimacy is a cornerstone of romantic relationships, serving as both a physical and emotional bond that deepens connections between partners. While it’s not the only element that makes a relationship successful, it undoubtedly plays a significant role in maintaining and strengthening the connection between couples. In this blog post, we will explore why sex is important for couples and how it contributes to a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

1. Physical Connection

Sexual intimacy is a unique way for couples to physically connect with each other. The act of making love involves touch, closeness, and vulnerability, which all contribute to a sense of physical closeness. This physical connection releases hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, which promote feelings of love, pleasure, and happiness.

2. Emotional Bonding

Sex is not just a physical act; it’s deeply intertwined with emotions. When couples engage in sexual activity, they share an experience that is profoundly personal and emotionally intimate. This emotional bond strengthens the overall connection between partners and fosters trust and vulnerability.

3. Stress Reduction

Sex can be a powerful stress reliever. Engaging in sexual activity helps reduce cortisol levels, which are responsible for stress. When couples engage in regular, satisfying sex, they are more likely to cope with life’s challenges together, leading to a healthier and happier relationship.

4. Communication

Sexual activity requires communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Couples who communicate about their desires, boundaries, and preferences in the bedroom are more likely to communicate effectively in other aspects of their relationship as well. This open dialogue promotes understanding and strengthens emotional connections.

5. Boosting Self-Esteem

Feeling desired by your partner can significantly boost self-esteem and self-worth. When couples engage in regular sexual activity, they often experience a greater sense of attractiveness and desirability, which can positively impact their overall self-confidence.

6. Variety and Adventure

Exploring one’s sexuality with a partner can add excitement and variety to a relationship. Trying new things in the bedroom can reignite the spark and keep the relationship from becoming routine or monotonous.

7. Physical Health Benefits

Sexual activity is not just good for emotional well-being; it also has physical health benefits. Regular sex can improve cardiovascular health, boost the immune system, and even relieve pain. A healthy sex life can lead to a healthier life overall, benefiting both partners.

While sex is just one aspect of a successful romantic relationship, it plays a crucial role in maintaining a strong and fulfilling connection between couples. It provides physical closeness, emotional bonding, stress relief, communication, and numerous other benefits that contribute to a healthy and happy partnership. It’s essential for couples to prioritize their sexual intimacy and engage in open, respectful communication to ensure their needs and desires are met, strengthening their bond in the process. Remember, a healthy sex life is an essential ingredient in the recipe for a thriving relationship.

How Addiction & Couples Therapy Go Together

One of the questions we get asked frequently is whether or not couples therapy is helpful when one or both partners has an addiction.

There are many cases when couples therapy can be one of the most helpful resources for addiction. Addiction often happens when we are feeling lonely, ashamed, or traumatized.

These are some of the hardest places for us to explore as humans. It’s very uncomfortable to shine a light on the places where we feel the most shame or fear.

Having our partner there with us does tow things. First, it helps us learn how our issues are impacting our home and what our family is needing from us to re-establish love and trust. Secondly, we help our partners learn how they can hold us in those moments that take us over. We can show them what they can do to help us fill our cups and and know that we are save with them.

Learning how to be vulnerable on both sides of partnership can help the addiction and heal deep wounds created by disconnection.

Some addiction however, does need individual therapy prior to doing couples work. If the addiction is too big that it does not appear to be able to slow down despite a partners best efforts, individual work, trauma work, or DBT might be the best bet before bringing in family.

At Rekindle, we provide all of the above help. Please always reach out even with the smallest questions.

Call Us @ 720-394-3442

About Alyssa

Hello, my name is Alyssa. I am so glad you are here!

Therapy with me is authentic. I don’t pretend to be anything other than a fellow human sitting alongside you who wants to listen and offer support. And as it happens, I have some specialized training in doing so. Know that I can hold whatever it is you bring me with care and respect.

I have a heart for working with grief, addiction and trauma and how each of these impact relationships. In my own experience with loss, I have realized the vast events that can fall under the grief umbrella. Losing loved ones, losing a pet, aging and illness, healing from miscarriages or empty nesting, resolving or ending a relationship, losing your job, or losing a dream. We have work and school and leaky pipes and bills to pay. And then the universe adds those bigger losses to our plates. Suddenly, it’s all so overwhelming. Grief impacts our ability to continue, continue showing up, continue loving, continue trusting.

In the midst of the pain we face in life, we all seek ways to cope, it’s natural. For many this comes in the form of substance use, behavioral addictions, or infidelity, which for a time act as suppressants to this pain. What we find is that the pain does not go away and with prolonged use our pain only intensifies. It can erupt into our families, our work, and our passions.

Through individual and couples therapy, we can process the pain together, I will offer psycho-education behind reactions, we will rewire the nervous system away from destructive and traumatic patterns, and learn skills to together keep surviving.

I utilize Gottman, PACT, and Emotion Focused Therapy in my work with couples. And Narrative, Somatic Experience, Mindfulness, Parts Work, and incorporate Interpersonal Neurobiology and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy into my work with individuals. I have trained in Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy and find that it is a beautiful and impactful tool to work alongside traditional psychotherapy. I earned a Master’s of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Substance Use Disorders from Colorado Christian University. I also hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Human Development from Metropolitan State University of Denver.


I offer a therapeutic modality called Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) in
partnership with an organization called Journey Clinical. Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is a holistic modality in which ketamine is used as a complement to psychotherapy to help eligible patients experience more frequent breakthroughs and sustained improvement in symptoms. I take on the psychotherapy portion of the experience, while Journey Clinical’s medical team supports you on all medical aspects. This includes determining eligibility, developing a custom treatment plan, prescribing the medicine and monitoring outcomes. For more information please contact me and see our KAP page (listed on the top menu bar.)

Rekindle is not in-network with any insurance companies.

Emotion Focused Couples Therapy

What is Emotion Focused Couples Therapy or EFT? EFT is the only couples therapy model that has been shown to create lasting change in a couple’s argument cycle and emotional intimacy levels. EFT explores the root of each individual’s attachment history and the ways they communicate.

With me, you will look at the basic dynamic of; What sparked a reaction? What feeling came up? What thought or story pairs with that feeling? And finally, how are you handing that over to your partner, or in other words what was the behavior you displayed. While that can sound a little diagramy (I like made up feeling words), it provides a rich opportunity to learn how your person interprets certain actions and where those came free (surprise, your childhood!)

The more we explore and the more practice we gain at sharing in a healthy way, the more your brain actually changes and let’s you know your partner is safe, loving and there for you.

Those skills mixed with that brain change equals a secure attachment you and your person can lean on even when things get hard.

Couples Therapy

What is Sex Therapy?

Physical intimacy is a huge part of any couple’s relationship. When couples are in sync and feeling connected, sex and physical intimacy can feel connecting and fun. When out of sync, sex can become one of the main issues couples seek therapy for.

Our sexual relationships can become out of balance for many reasons. Life transitions, age, trauma, and busy schedules are a few reasons that things may become out of whack.

Let’s look at Becky and Bill. They have three kids, two in school, and a baby. Bill works full time and travels. Becky is their home’s CEO, in charge or appointments, after school activities, food…and so on. After a full day or being nit picked at work Bill wants to come home and feel calm and relaxed. After a full day of driving everyone around, making meals the kids don’t eat, and carrying a fussy baby around, Becky wants help and to be seen.

The kids finally go to bed. Becky wants Bill to just sit close and watch a show, she’s feeling icky and over touched. Bill is hoping that now they can finally get some more alone time in bed because he’s craving closeness, and it’s been a few weeks since they last had sex.

Bill initiates… Becky sighs…Bill feels rejected and unappreciated…Becky feels misunderstood and overwhelmed. They don’t say any of this out loud and just end up going to bed feeling disconnected, sad and angry.

This plays out in many different ways for couples. The more they miss each other, the more difficult it becomes to get back to responding in the ways each person needs.

Individual or couples therapy can be very helpful:

To get your sex life back to a new normal.

To baby step back to finding passion and fun.

To heal from trauma.

To gain a sexual version of yourself you may have never had.